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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22607545">Starcrossed, You and I.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/anerdwhowantstowrite/pseuds/anerdwhowantstowrite'>anerdwhowantstowrite</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bendemption, F/F, F/M, Friends to Enemies to Friends, M/M, Reylo - Freeform, Stormpilot</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 16:42:42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,661</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22607545</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/anerdwhowantstowrite/pseuds/anerdwhowantstowrite</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Poe Dameron/Finn, Rey/Ben Solo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><strong>...</strong> <em> <strong>Ben</strong> </em> <strong>…</strong></p><p>He couldn't help but smile. Who could, especially if they'd seen her smile like she was then. He'd been able to save her, and perhaps been redeemed from ever harming her in the first place. He'd fallen in love with her, and he couldn't believe that they were able to have this moment in light of all that had just happened. Then she said it...</p><p>"Ben," she breathed; he felt such peace wash over him. His name. Ben. Ben Solo, Son of Han Solo and Leia Organa. Nephew of Luke Skywalker. Grandson of Anakin Skywalker and Padmé Amidala.</p><p>"Ben," he replied quietly. He soaked in her smile and vowed to commit it to memory. He laughed, a genuine laugh, and suddenly caught a movement over her shoulder; he could barely contain his gasp. Before him he saw them. All of them. The Jedi who'd gone before them, his fellow padawans from Luke's failed academy, those killed in the Jedi purge by his Grandfather, and some other people he'd never seen but had likely heard of. He was in awe. For years he'd begged his grandfather to show himself as Vader to him. To tell him what to do, to guide him. But today, as he stepped back into the light, finally free of the tormenting whispers in his ear telling him he'd been forgotten and would always be alone, he saw them.</p><p>"What do you see?" He looked back to Rey in that moment and knew she'd seen them too. He smiled and searched the crowd for familiar faces, "Hope," he replied. He didn't know how he'd face the galaxy after all he'd done. Even if Rey would stand beside him, he'd have to be tried as a war criminal and likely the Galaxy would demand his death. But somehow seeing all the Jedi who'd ever lived gave him hope that perhaps he would find a way.</p><p><strong>...</strong> <em> <strong>meanwhile</strong> </em> <strong>...</strong></p><p>When he realized that the battle was finally won, Poe knew he needed to find his Storm-trooper. Reciprocated feelings be damned, but he had to tell Finn the truth. "Finn, did you make it to the Falcon?" He waited a moment and heard no reply. "Finn! Do you copy?" He felt panic rising in his gut. "I'm here Poe. General Calrissian...Lando really saved our butts. But thanks for giving us the time to really make a difference." Poe sighed in relief and tried to find the Falcon in the crazy amount of ships that had come to Exegol after hearing the desperate call of the Rebellion. "Ghost to Falcon, did you pick up a few spare Crew or is that just the age catching up with the old girl?" Poe had to laugh at General Syndulla for that one. She was always trying to prove that the Ghost was the superior craft to the Falcon. But his relief would not last. Once he realized that Rey had saved Kylo Ren from the ruins on Exegol he felt a rage well up within him that he hadn't felt in a long time.</p><p><strong>...</strong> <em> <strong>back in known space</strong> </em> <strong>...</strong></p><p>"Ben!" He heard his name from behind him, but if he wanted to see her, unfortunately he'd have to wait until the small fractured pieces of the New Republic decided his fate. He wanted to turn around so badly, but he knew that his escort would not be pleased if he did. He felt that he deserved their anger and resentment. He'd been a willing pawn. He complied with every demand that he'd been issued. He did everything willingly, to the point of Patricide. It didn't matter that those were Kylo Ren's mistakes. Ben Solo would have to pay the price for them. He desperately pleaded with the Force that he could make it out of this alive, but he knew that if the survivors of this war demanded his head he'd willingly give it.</p><p>Suddenly his escort stopped and he followed suit. He didn't dare ask what was happening, he'd maintained the silence he'd adopted when he'd seen the Falcon up close for the first time in about a decade or more. He couldn't bear to think that Han Solo would never fly her again. Chewbacca almost didn't let Rey bring him aboard, and he would have remained an exile on Exegol as long as they wanted if he never had to feel the fury of Chewbacca ever again. "What seems to be the trouble, gentlemen?" It was the pilot, Dameron, the one he'd captured on Jakku. He hadn't expected to see him ever again. And yet, he was glad the plucky pilot had survived everything they'd all gone through the last several years.</p><p>"General, we're escorting this prisoner to a temporary holding area. We haven't got any cells but we've been assured of his cooperation." The man who'd been escorting him hesitated. "Though, to be honest, Sir, we're a bit skeptical of the follow through on those assurances." He didn't know the name of this member of his Mother's Resistance. But he'd been on board when Rey had finally convinced Chewbacca to allow him into the cargo hold. On the way down the familiar path, they'd run into this man. He'd been angry, like Chewy, but in a different way. Ben knew that there would be so many more who were furious, like Chewy, and like this man. But Rey was determined to keep his spirits up. She had apparently been enough of a guard that once Rey had helped him get settled in a seat, the man had left them alone. They'd talked, sat silently, reveled in the strength of the bond the Force had given them, and they'd done a fair amount of kissing as well. He smiled at the memory, and cherished the fact that even though they were apart physically, she was there making sure that he knew that he was loved and supported no matter what. But then the Pilot began to speak and shook him from his contemplation.</p><p>"Be sure to give him food and water. We don't want him passing out from loss of blood. And make sure the medic sees him as soon as they can spare someone. His leg looks pretty bad." In fact, Ben's left leg had been broken in the fall Palpatine was surely hoping killed him. He'd needed Rey to support him to the ships, but now he'd been given crutches to help him hobble along.</p><p>"Thank you, Poe, I know I don't deserve to be treated so fairly." Ben watched as Poe struggled to compose himself, but wished he'd just get angry at him. It would be far easier to deal with the anger than this kindness. Poe did eventually give a small cough and said, "Rey said I should call you, 'Ben' now, but it's going to take a lot of proof on your part if you want the rest of the Galaxy to forgive you like she has. Maybe she hasn't had you digging in her brain, but it's going to be really hard for most of us to ever trust you. You have to know that." Poe looked at his feet as he spoke but by the end of his statements, he did manage to look Ben in the eye. He could feel Poe's self control slipping as he recalled how forceful he'd been when extracting the location of the map from the pilot's memories. Ben hung his head and took his seat as gingerly as he could. "Thank you for not calling me Kylo Ren. That's more than I'd have ever expected from you." He looked at Poe now, genuine tears streaming down his face; he wasn't sure if he could truly forgive himself for all the things he'd done. From abandoning his Uncle to the wrath of Snoke to murdering his own Father in cold blood, he'd been evil. But he continued, "I will do everything asked of me and I won't do anything without your or Rey's express permission. I don't think I'll be worthy of the Galaxy's forgiveness, but I'm going to try to at least seek it from those who knew my mother in the years I'd abandoned her for the Dark Side of the Force and the false strength that drew me to it." He'd meant every word, and hoped that Poe would at least believe that he wouldn't cause trouble while he was there.</p><p><strong>...</strong> <em> <strong>elsewhere</strong> </em> <strong>...</strong></p><p>"Finn, you don't understand! He is the only reason that I'm still standing! He was thrown into a pit and left for dead but he climbed out and hobbled on his broken leg to get to me and make sure that I was going to live!" But she could see that her friend was only able to see Kylo Ren. Finn couldn't see her Ben. She wondered if he knew just how much Ben had gone through since they'd seen him on Endor.</p><p>"Finn," he'd turned away from her so as to try and make a point. But she needed him to be on her side, to understand. "Finn, I've fallen in love with him." Love. Something she'd longed for all her life. She'd finally found it in a man who'd been hell bent on destroying her the first time they met. It wasn't that she didn't realize just how insane that sounded, but she knew by now that the Force worked in ways that didn't always make sense. Finn turned around at that, and seemed furious.</p><p>"Rey! This is crazy! How could you, the last of the Jedi, the one to finally end this war, be in <em>love</em> with that- that Monster?!" He threw the words into the air and demanded that she give him an explanation. "Surely he's working some kind of Dark Side plot on you! He's manipulating you and trying to get you to fall to the Dark Side with him! Rey! Don't let him lure you down the path that killed Han Solo!" Rey was taken aback by the harshness of Finn's words, and wondered if anyone would ever really be able to see Ben when he'd hurt them all so much as Kylo Ren.</p><p>"I'll never join the Dark Side, Finn, never." She looked away from him to center herself. When she looked back, he had the good sense to seem sorry for what he'd said. But it still hurt. "I was tempted and I was able to resist. But Ben was the only thing that kept me from falling to the Dark. He watched as the life went out of me, and he took it upon himself to give me the life force from himself. He died too, Finn. But do you know what saved him? It wasn't me. I was too weak to do anything but smile and say his name." She conveniently left out the fact that she'd kissed him and the resulting smile that spread across a face that had known far too few. "No, it wasn't me who saved him, Finn. It was her, Leia. With her dying breath, she gave the Force her life for his. She was able to see her Ben, her only son, her only child, one last time through the Force. It was the most beautiful and tragic thing I'd ever seen." She let the tears flow now as she'd finally lost her battle with them as she realized that she didn't want to fight with Finn anymore; she just wanted him to see Ben the way she did. And she just didn't know how.</p><p>Before finishing her point, she searched through the Force to find where they'd taken Ben and make sure he was doing okay. When she felt just how broken he was over his mother's sacrifice, one he felt she should never have made, she let her tears finally flow. "Oh, Ben."</p><p><strong>...</strong> <em> <strong>Ben...</strong> </em></p><p>As he tried to hold in the wince as the medic tended to his broken leg, he felt Rey searching for him through their shared Force Bond. He was tempted to shy away because the conversation with Poe had left him raw. He didn't want her to feel all the guilt he had swirling around him. He looked up and saw her crying and knew it was because she'd felt just how horrible he felt for all the things he'd done as Kylo Ren. He wanted so badly to atone for his mistakes, but he knew that some mistakes couldn't be fixed. Both of his parents were dead. His father by his own hand. He didn't want the medic to freak out, so he remained silent, but kept his eyes on Rey. She was in a different area of the Resistance Base, but he didn't need to see where she was. All he needed to see was her. He felt better knowing that she wasn't turning away from him, but he knew she would never do that unless he fell back to the Dark Side. But that was something he would never do.</p><p>"Well, sir," he jumped and turned to the woman treating his leg, "Sorry hun, I didn't mean to scare you." She gave him a timid smile, "I just wanted to let you know that this will probably take a few weeks to heal, unless you can do that yourself with the Force. I asked Leia about it once and I think that's something you Force users are supposed to be able to do, right?" At the mention of his mother, Ben looked away from her and back to Rey. She was still crying softly but instead of seeing her within their bond she'd crossed the compound to come to him in person. "Oh, Rey!" The medic greeted her, "Come to make sure our prisoner doesn't make any foolhardy escape?"</p><p>Rey laughed and replied, "No, Metz, he's not going to do that. I came because I could feel he needed me." She looked into his eyes then, "I'll always come when you need me." She took his hand and the medic was forgotten. There was only himself and Rey. She hadn't had a chance to get cleaned up since they'd returned to the Base but he thought she could never look more beautiful than she did at that moment.</p><p>"Thank you, Rey. I'll do my best to remember that." He looked down at his leg in shame for a moment before returning his gaze to hers. "I haven't had anyone but myself to count on in such a long time that it's sure to be hard to get used to." He looked to the floor shamed by his past yet again. But he made an effort to steel his resolve and looked back up into her beautiful eyes. She had a few tears that were running down her face and he could feel how desperately she wanted to take his pain and hopelessness away. To that end he added, "I will do everything I need to do for as many people as I can so that the name Kylo Ren is forgotten and Ben Solo can have a second chance at life free of the Dark Side. I will learn to trust in others again." He paused not knowing if he should say more, but the strength he felt in this moment was too much to ignore. He needed to say the words, "And I'll learn how to love again as well. I know what I want love to be, but I need to remember what it truly means to love someone." He didn't let his gaze leave Rey's until he'd finished. He wanted to be brave, he wanted to be strong.</p><p>He wanted to be Ben.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>...Rey...</p><p>She'd turned to Finn and apologized, but he walked away before she'd explained where she was going. After feeling Ben's guilt and knowing that he couldn't come to her without starting the war back up right where it left off, she needed to go to him. More than that though, she wanted to go to him. So when she heard him saying he'd learn what love truly was she knew that he would learn what love was and that she would learn right alongside him. She knew that she would always stand beside him and they would face the future together. They were bonded in such a way that they could never be truly apart ever again.</p><p>"So long as I can learn about love with you." She smiled, ''Because other than the friendships I've made here I don't think I really, truly know what love is either." He returned her smile hesitantly. It was such a beautiful thing, his smile. She had seen a lot of smiles, but no one smiled like Ben. She heard coughing, and realized that they'd completely forgotten that Metz was there still, as she had been tending to Ben's leg.</p><p>"Sorry, Metz. I forgot you were still here. But I'm glad you got to see him this way. More people need to know just how much guilt he's carrying for everything he did. He's not Kylo Ren anymore, Metz. He really is Leia's Ben."</p><p>She watched as Metz thought about what she'd said, and was glad for the small smile the medic gave her in return.</p><p>"Rey, for Leia's sake, I want to believe it. I want to believe it so badly. He's been nothing but cooperative since I was brought in to treat him, and he was so polite when he answered my questions about his injuries," Metz looked at Ben now, "If you really have left Kylo Ren in the Darkness like he deserved, and have fully come back to the Light, then I'll be of the first to vouch for you when people eventually try to hang you for everything you did. But mark my words, if you so much as make Rey cry over a single little thing, I'll have you shipped out of here so fast that you won't know which way is up." Her last statement was enunciated by Metz waving a finger in Ben's appropriately blushing face. He cleared his throat and thanked Metz for her willingness to believe in his return to the Light. For the first time since Exegol, Rey could feel the hope within him and felt some of that hope herself. If someone who'd loved Leia as much as Metz could forgive him, surely there would be others who'd be willing to see his change and accept it as well.</p><p>... Finn ...</p><p>Finn was angry. Angrier than he'd ever been. She loved Ren? How was that even possible? No one could love him! He'd murdered countless innocents, he'd killed his own Father! He was evil! Wasn't he? Wasn't he the one whom they'd been fighting this whole time along with the First Order? Wasn't it his lightsaber that pierced the heart of Han Solo? The one who would have killed the entire Resistance, his Mother included, if it hadn't been for Luke Skywalker, his Uncle? Finn continued in this line of thinking as he walked away from Rey and towards a different part of the base.</p><p>He needed to think. He had to process what was happening with Rey and Kylo Ren. Rey kept calling him, "Ben," as if that monster deserved to be recognized as the son of Han and Leia. His angry walk led him into the forest, where Leia had taken Rey to do training. He sat and remembered coming to watch hoping that neither would catch him. He loved watching Rey use the Force. She was a natural, as Leia kept saying. He also remembered the day that Leia and Rey began to meditate and he'd sat on the ground and closed his eyes and listened intently.</p><p>"Listen to the sounds around you, Rey. Allow them to penetrate you. Hear the birds in the trees, the ants on the ground, each creature that lives and breathes. Now, listen to the Planet. The whole of this world breathes just as the creatures and beings that call it home, just in a different way. Now, can you feel the thread of light just beyond the sounds of the Planet? Look closely."</p><p>After a beat, Rey gasped, and Finn did as well. He could feel everything Leia was talking about. The animals, the grass, the Planet, and that small thread of Light. It was calling to him, and he reached out for it. It reached back and he could feel just how lost Rey felt after losing Luke. How tired and despairing Leia felt over the loss of her husband and son. But he also felt the hope that the two carried and that is what he held onto.</p><p>As he walked through the memory, he held out his hand as he'd seen Rey do countless times. He reached within himself and towards the small boulder that was across the dirt path he'd followed to get here. At first, the boulder was resistant to his call, but once he allowed himself to let go of the anger he'd been building up, he felt the boulder lift from the ground. When he opened his eyes, he watched in awe as the confirmation of what he thought he knew floated back down to the ground at his direction. He could use the Force. He could become a Jedi. He'd wanted to tell Rey that she wasn't alone. That he too could feel the Force. But he'd never known when to say something. When he thought they were going to die, he'd said that there was something he wanted her to know. He'd only have one more chance to tell her. But it was too late. Then, they were alive and she was able to heal the cave worm and he didn't need to tell her anymore. But he'd wanted to. The mission was too important, though. He would have to wait.</p><p>But now? He'd been so angry with her when, truly, he was only mad at Kylo Ren. The man she claimed to love. Could Ben Solo still be redeemed? Could Leia's dying wish become a reality? He wanted to have hope that the Galaxy could move on now that the Resistance had won. They'd been freed from the tyranny of the First Order. No other children would be taken from their families and turned into killers. There could be peace. But was there hope for the son of Han and Leia?</p><p>Finn turned to walk back towards the base but stopped dead in his tracks. There stood Poe, mouth agape in awe. "So, I'm guessing you saw all of that, right?"</p><p>... Poe ...</p><p>"So I'm guessing you saw all that, right?"</p><p>Poe wasn't even sure that he comprehended what Finn had just said. But his mind was trying to also process that he'd seen the former StormTrooper just levitate a boulder off the ground! Once he finally found his voice he exclaimed, "Saw that? What, only you lifting a freaking rock with your mind? Yea I saw that you crazy Jedi you! Come here!" And at that he pulled Finn into a hug and dared himself to be the last one to let go. Why did telling Finn how he felt just keep getting harder. Once Finn began to pull back though, he looked Finn in the eye and said,</p><p>"Finn I'm so happy for you! This is amazing! Have you told Rey?" Finn's expression, which had gone from embarrassment to elation had fallen and he looked so conflicted. "I tried to, several times. But I never felt like there was that right time or whatever." Finn paused and looked up at him, and Poe could feel his cheeks getting red the longer they held the gaze.</p><p>"Poe, I don't know how I feel about her saving him." Well, that was a bombshell he wasn't expecting.</p><p>"I can't say I know exactly how to feel about it either, Finn. She didn't tell anyone he was even there and when I saw him get off the ship..." Poe had to pause a moment. This is not what he was expecting to talk to Finn about and now he was getting angry again. Before he could pick up his thought, Finn interrupted, "I'm so sorry Poe. I didn't mean to make you angry. I know that you can't be the only one trying to restrain themselves from punching him in the face on principal." Finn tried to turn away, but Poe held a hand on his shoulder and gently turned Finn back to face him.</p><p>"You don't have to be sorry, it's not you that's made me angry. He broke my mind, Finn. I know you know what that's like. You were brainwashed by the First Order ever since you were a kid. Seeing you use the Force though, it makes sense why you were one of the first to ever defect. The woman on Endor, she said she and her companions were former StormTroopers too, right? Maybe they all can use the Force!" Now he was really going off on a tangent. "My point is, Finn, you don't have to be sorry, because you're not at fault. And you could never make me angry." He flashed his 'signature' smile and gave him a light bump on the shoulder and was glad that Finn chuckled. He hated to see his friend so down. Finn asked if he'd been coming out to the forest for a reason and Poe wasn't sure if he wanted to open that can of worms or not, but he'd promised himself that he'd finally talk to Finn because he was miserable keeping his feelings to himself. He also knew that if Finn didn't reciprocate he'd be crushed, but would never hold it against him. Poe would just have to get over him, and find someone else.</p><p>"Well, to tell you the truth, I was looking for you since we all got back. I had to help a few people first and I made sure that our prisoner wasn't being treated like a POW but then I saw you walking this way and tried to follow. I got lost once too, but I found you. And I wanted to talk to you about something." Poe mentally facepalmed. He was never this nervous! Finn looked so confused too. He'd probably never really had a chance to date or anything similar in the First Order. "Sorry. My thoughts kinda ran away from me there." Poe took a breath and looked Finn in the eyes.</p><p>"Finn, since the day I met you I've known that we'd be friends for a lifetime. I've never met anyone like you. You defected from the First Order on a whim, and if that doesn't make you a hero, then staying and fighting, especially after Rose caught you trying to run away definitely does! You are a good man, and you never even had anyone to show you how to do that. I never have to wonder if I'm going to get shot from behind, because I know you've got my back." Finn still had a puzzled look on his face, but Poe had made it this far. He couldn't stop now. "Finn I've come to care for you more than I've ever cared about anyone in my life. I want you to know that I have fallen in love with you, and I know you haven't really had any experience with that, so know that I'll be ok if you don't feel that way too. I can definitely still be your best friend if you don't feel that way about me. I know you probably never had any experiences with men loving other men, but just so you know, it's not something bad or wrong. Some people will ignore me, but that's nothing compared to what some people I know have been through."</p><p>Poe felt like he was starting to spiral again and resolved to get this over with, "I'm sorry if I took you completely off guard or stepped way out of line or something. I just really needed to let you know how I felt because it was something I almost never got to tell you." With that, Poe smiled at Finn and waved at him to show him the way back to base. Finn smiled back, but seemed unsure of himself.</p><p>"Thanks for telling me, Poe," he said as they made their way back, "I'm not sure I can really give you a response yet. You're right, I've never seen men love other men. It'll take me some time to kinda process, but I want you to know that I'm still going to have your back. It might be something I have to discover about myself, but I'm not upset you told me. It's really flattering, actually."</p><p>He laughed then, and Poe knew that no matter what, he'd still love this former StormTrooper because, well, how could he not?</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I do not own these characters or the plot of The Rise of Skywalker.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>... Ben ...</p><p>Waking up the next morning, Ben felt lighter somehow. As if a large weight were taken off his back. He knew it had a lot to do with Metz seeing Ben instead of Kylo Ren, but he also knew it had something to do with finally being able to tell Rey that he loved her. He knew that she likely knew it, but saying it felt good. Even if he said it in a really weird and confusing way. He mentally berated himself for not being more direct, but he knew based on her reaction that Rey had fully understood him. She loved him and made that as clear as she could. In their way. He smiled, 'their way,' huh? He suddenly was aware of the other presence in the room with him and slowly sat up to see who'd entered the room. He blinked and his mouth fell open a little. Chewbacca had come to see him. It had only been a day, surely the Wookie wouldn't have been so angry he was ready to kill Ben after only a day to think about it? He stood and took the crutches from the side of his bunk. When Chewbacca made no move to stop him, he hobbled his way over to him and looked up into the sad eyes of someone he used to think of as an Uncle. Chewbacca had been one of the few beings he'd really been close with as a kid. He'd known Poe and had played with him many times, but they'd never been as close as Ben and Chewy.</p><p>Ben didn't know if he should speak first, or if that would only insult his Father's best friend. Ben kept his head up and continued to look Chewy in the eye. He wanted to let Chewy speak first if only to let that be the beginnings of his apologies. But Ben knew that apologies only went so far in this case. Chewy had watched as he'd killed the one human to ever earn his Life Debt. Ben knew the severity of the Wookie Life Debt, and to know that he'd been the one to sever it was not something that Chewy could take lightly. Chewy had loved Han, and at one point he'd loved Ben too. Ben had thrown away so much when he'd chosen the Dark Side. He'd been so loved, but the cruel whispers from Snoke and Palpatine all his life led him to believe that there was no one in his life who did truly love him. Ben felt the tears well up in his eyes and let them fall. He cried for the time he lost with the people who'd loved him most, he cried for the days he would never have with his parents, he cried for the lives he'd taken, he cried for the ones who'd been left alone because of the deaths he'd brought about, and most of all he cried for Ben. Ben had been manipulated from the time he was born. He'd heard voices telling him that no one cared his whole life. Now free of the Darkness that had consumed him, Ben felt truly free of all of that. Yes, he'd still done those things, he'd still made those choices, but he was free of them because he had finally been able to see what both his parents saw as they gave up their own lives in order to save his.</p><p>Chewy roared, "Why are you crying? I haven't even yelled at you yet."</p><p>Ben chuckled a bit at that. "Well, Chewbacca, its kinda hard to explain. I can try if you want me to." Chewy roared his assent and Ben took a breath. How do you explain something like that to someone? How did you tell them how sorry you were without sounding like you were just making excuses. "Would you let me use the Force to tell you, to explain to you why I'm crying?" Chewy backed away and put a hand to his bowcaster. Ben had expected this though, it was a crazy idea anyway. "I swear to you I wouldn't hurt you. I just know that words alone cannot begin to describe the sorrow and pain I'm feeling, the utter horror at the choices I've made. But if you'd be willing, I can try to let you feel it too so you could know just how truly sorry I really am." He couldn't make Chewy do this. But if the Wookie was willing, maybe others would be too. Maybe he could reach people one by one and let them see just how remorseful and changed he truly was. He waited a few moments, and in that time Chewy had asked Ben to sit back on his bunk and had pulled a chair over to sit with him. Finally, Chewy agreed to let Ben use the Force to try and help make his apology real.</p><p>Ben took another deep breath to center himself, and closed his eyes. He reached out for Chewy and the Wookie grumbled, but let Ben hold his hand. For a moment, nothing happened. But the instant Chewy had seen and felt all Ben wanted him to, Chewy pulled back and roared the most sorrowful roar he'd ever heard from any Wookie he'd met. Ben let fresh tears flow, and waited for the inevitable.</p><p>... Rey ...</p><p>As soon as she heard Chewy roar, she knew he'd be with Ben. She ran as fast as she could to where Ben was being kept, but arrived just after Poe and Finn. Ben was being held to the floor and Chewy was sitting on the floor against the wall crying into his hands. "What happened? Why is he being held on the ground? He's got a broken leg! You could make it worse!" Finn caught her eye, and placed a calm hand on her shoulder, "We haven't been able to figure out what happened yet. And Poe just told them to get him back on the bunk. According to the guards, he'd been face down on the floor with his hands on his head when they came in." Rey relaxed as she watched the guards help Ben back into his bunk. She fully believed that he'd been on the floor when they arrived. But she just wanted to know what Ben had said to Chewy to make him cry. Obviously it had to do with Han and Leia, but she'd never seen the Wookie cry, even right after Kylo Ren had killed Han. She thanked Poe for not letting them keep Ben on the ground and he'd just nodded to her. Rey knew he'd be tougher to bring around than most of the others since Kylo Ren had forcefully taken information out of his mind. She watched as Finn led Poe and the guards out of the room. Finn nodded at her and she knew they'd have to talk later. But now, she focused on Ben and Chewy.</p><p>"Are you ok? What happened?" She waited for him to fill her in. Ben sighed and looked at her,</p><p>"Chewy was here when I woke up, and I didn't know what to say. I started thinking about all the things I could say, but I just knew none of it would matter." He looked at Chewy now, and continued, "Do you know what a Life Debt is?" She didn't. "Well, when a Wookie is born, they have a ceremony and each Father must train his children to be brave, protect what's theirs, and when to offer a life debt. It's a sacred bond that only Wookies practice as far as I know. Han-my father saved Chewy's life a long time ago, and they became friends. Later, dad helped Chewy save the life of another Wookie and offered up a Life Debt because of it. When I,..." He stopped and hung his head. She knew how hard this was for him and laid her head on his shoulder to try and offer some form of comfort. Ben tried again,</p><p>"When I killed my father, I severed their bond, and Chewy should have killed me. I still don't know why he didn't. He vowed to take vengeance on anyone who would try to kill dad because of the life debt. Seeing me alive cuts to the core of everything Chewy stands for. When he let me use the Force to show him what I felt and how remorseful I was, I guess it was too much." Rey understood then why Chewy was so distraught. He'd known that he should have killed Kylo Ren the day Han had been killed, but he could only see Ben, the boy he'd loved. Rey looked to Chewy then who'd calmed and stood looking at the two of them.</p><p>Chewy roared, "What he says is true. My Life Debt with Han was special because I came to see him as a Brother. When I saw Han go out onto that bridge, I knew I'd never see him again. At that time, there was no hope that we'd get Ben back." Chewy looked to Ben and let out a sigh, "Ben, you were the first child born to a human where a Wookie had sworn a life debt to the Father. I vowed the day you were born that when Han died, his Life Debt would pass to you. I would always be there to watch over the legacy of Han Solo." Ben gasped, and Rey tried to understand the significance of that.</p><p>"When you shot me, you were trying to fulfill your Life Debt with both of us, but surely once I left to follow Snoke, you would have renounced me and never spoken of me again."</p><p>Chewy nodded, but roared again, "There had never been a Wookie who'd folded in a second being into a Life Debt before. I spoke at length with the only remaining Wookies in the Galaxy, and they advised me against it as I did not know your character as I knew Han. I felt that I was more wise than they, and I was wrong. When we found out what happened with Luke's Academy, I knew that the other Wookies had been right, but I couldn't find it within myself to give up on you. Even when I followed Han away from Leia, I knew she still held out hope that you'd hear her and come home. I wanted to try to be as strong as her."</p><p>Ben slowly stood and held his hand out to Chewy. When Chewy hesitated, Ben started to lower his hand. But just when Rey thought Ben would try again, it was Chewy's hand that reached out between them to take Ben's hand. Ben seemed surprised, but looked hopeful as well. Rey could hardly contain her anxiety over what was happening, especially since she had no idea what was going on.</p><p>But then, Chewy roared, "Ben Solo, are you willing?"</p><p>Ben took a breath, "I'm willing, Chewbacca." At Ben's agreement, Chewy knelt, still holding Ben's hand, and Ben did his best to kneel with his broken leg. Rey tried to help, but Ben had held out his other hand to stop her. He shook his head and she sat back onto the bunk to wait. As she watched, Ben and Chewy seemed to be meditating. But all at once the serious atmosphere seemed to dissipate. Chewy helped Ben to his feet and Rey was even more confused than when she'd arrived to see Chewy on the floor crying.</p><p>... Poe ...</p><p>"Finn, is there something going on with Rey and," he paused not knowing if he could really use his name.</p><p>Finn nodded, "She told me yesterday that she was in love with him. I told her she was under some kind of Force manipulation, but I'm not sure I believe that anymore." Poe considered this and came to a similar conclusion,</p><p>"I don't trust him, but I believe that he would do anything to keep her safe. Just the way he looks at her..." Poe paused again knowing that he couldn't say, 'it's the way I look at you.'</p><p>Finn nodded again, "And she's more protective of him than I've ever seen her be. Of course, the people she's closest to are you and me, but still." Finn trailed off and went silent. When Poe had rushed into the room where he was being held, he'd been so confused. The guards were putting cuffs on him, but they looked like they weren't sure why they were doing so. He'd asked them what had happened but they seemed just as confused as he did.</p><p>"Sir, we heard Commander Chewbacca roar, and thought he was in trouble. But when we opened the door, the General was sitting there, and the prisoner was prone with his hands behind his head waiting for us. The General wouldn't respond to us so we started to bind the prisoner, but that's when you and General Finn showed up."</p><p>Finn had been on his tail the whole way to his room since they'd both been heading to wake Rey for breakfast. Why would he have been so sure the guards would come in and out him on the ground? Sure, he'd been their prisoner, and yes, hearing Chewy roar could have meant there was trouble, but surely the guards would have heard him out, right? Maybe they wouldn't have.</p><p>"Finn, he was already laying on the ground when the guards got in the room, and Chewy wasn't hurt. He just assumed we'd pin him and demand to know why we should let him live." He thought for a moment, "Finn he's scared we're going to kill him before he can try to make amends."</p><p>Finn stopped and turned to look at Poe, "He should be. The Galaxy has every right to demand his death. He's killed countless innocents, Poe. He would have killed countless more if it weren't for Leia saving him. He deserves to be scared." Finn was so confident in what he'd said that Poe was almost afraid too. Finn seemed angry but in a calm and contained way. Perhaps he'd learned to control his anger because he could tap into the Force. Poe tried to reason with himself that he did deserve the fear of death as he'd made sure to convey to all of his victims.</p><p>Then his brain caught up, "Wait, Leia saved him? How? She was dead long before Rey went to Exegol. She died while we were on Endor!" Poe was so confused. Was this really how the Force worked?</p><p>Finn stopped dead in his tracks, "Wait, you haven't heard? Rey didn't tell you?"</p><p>Now Poe was even more confused, "Tell me what, Finn? I haven't had a chance to really talk to her since we ended the war and brought home a prisoner. It's only been a day! When would we have had time to talk?"</p><p>Finn led Poe to a more secluded part of the base where less people came or went. After they sat, Finn began to explain everything he knew about the strange events that occurred on Exegol. From the insanity that Rey was the Granddaughter of the Emperor, to the fact that he had still been alive in the first place, and on to how Leia brought her son back from the dead just as he had brought back Rey once he'd been able to get to her. "Wait, when did you have a chance to figure all this out? You haven't had a chance to really talk with Rey other than that argument you guys had when we first got back."</p><p>Poe wondered if it was a Force thing, but then chastised himself for thinking mind-reading could really be a thing. "Well, I had been on the Falcon when they were picked up. I didn't see them when they first came aboard, but I went to find them once we'd gotten back into hyperspace." Finn paused and looked at the ground. "I was so angry that we'd let him onto the ship, his Father's ship, and I knew Chewy was there too, and I didn't understand how he of all people would let him on board. But I went looking in the cargo hold, because someone had said that Rey took him there. But before I could go in the door, I heard them talking. So, I listened. And they just talked about everything. He cried and she was comforting him, him, needing comfort from someone." Finn looked back up at Poe. His eyes looked so sad.</p><p>"What? You got all sad there, Finn."</p><p>Finn cracked a sad smile, "Because I'm realizing that maybe he really isn't Kylo Ren any more. Maybe Leia really did save her son, and I've been acting like some scared, angry child. It's just," he paused again, "It's so hard to believe! He was our enemy not two days ago. And now, suddenly, he's changed? Or had he been struggling so much with the Light and the Dark that he was doing anything he could to rid himself of one or the other?" Poe could tell that while Finn was still working on not letting his anger get the best of him, talking about this anymore today would not be the best thing for that process.</p><p>"Finn, let's just stop talking about this for a few minutes. Why don't we go have lunch together and talk to Rose and some of the other former StormTroopers we rescued off Endor? Knowing that you weren't the only one to escape the First Order and its brainwashing will make you feel better, won't it?"</p><p>Finn deflated a bit and gave Poe a grateful smile, "Yea, that would be a lot better than getting angry over him and letting it ruin my day."</p><p>Poe smiled back, "Good, then let's go find Jannah and her crew and grab something to eat." Poe only hoped that the striking female wasn't going to be some sort of competition for him. He would be happy for Finn, whatever he chose, but he desperately wanted Finn for himself. Poe knew that this former StormTrooper had his heart, even if he never wanted it in the way Poe would offer it.</p><p>...Ben...</p><p>Ben wanted to wake up with none of it ever having happened, but that would be far too easy. No, he had to be brought to the realization that he'd been the cause of so much more pain and suffering than he could even imagine. He'd left so many families with one less at the dinner table, he'd taken children from their parents to be taught nothing of love and filled with the desire to do only one thing: kill. All of that plus now knowing that Chewbacca had folded him into his Father's life debt only to have to try and make the terrible choice to either avenge Han or save Ben. He knew he'd have to pay for all of his mistakes, but he just didn't realize that they'd been able to affect so many different relationships within his own family.</p><p>"Ben, what was all that? I've never seen Chewy so serious. I don't know anything about Life Debts or what this all means. Please, help me try to understand?"</p><p>He'd done as she'd asked and given her the best explanation he could. Chewbacca had left by that point and there had been no other sudden visitors after his departure. When he finished, she'd cried with him and held him close trying to be a comfort to him with his newfound guilt and compounded desire to have everyone just get on with it and put him on trial. he no longer held much hope for there to be so many people that would choose to see past his horrendous crimes against the New Republic and the Galaxy. But she would have none of that kind of thinking, she'd told him as much.</p><p>"Do you think I'm going to let you just give up? Because I'm not. Not for a second. You are a good man, Ben Solo, and I will do everything I can to help you and the rest of the Galaxy come to see you the way that I do. I know that this revelation from Chewy has taken some of that hope away from you, but I will not let you wallow in this despair for a moment longer." She had stood then and gave him a look that made it very clear she expected him to do the same. Then, she handed him the crutches he'd been using and made him leave his room. "If you won't let me heal your leg out of some misguided sense of self deprecation, then you'll at least be expected to take a walk every day to get some exercise so your leg can heal more quickly. I'll make sure that Poe knows that I'll be expecting you to take no less than a twenty minute walk every day, and if I can't go with you, then I'll make sure someone who won't kill you will go with you, or that they just leave you alone to walk. And don't think Metz won't back me up, because she will."</p><p>He smiled at the memory and that gave him the strength he needed to reach out to Rey. She didn't seem agitated or upset, but she also didn't reach out to him like normal. Something was different though, so he pressed some. He was able to see Rey but not her surroundings. She smiled at him, but it looked as though she were trying to hide the smile from someone. He sent her a silent request for permission, and she nodded. So he closed his eyes and pressed just a bit farther. When he opened his eyes, he was able to see not only her, but where she was and who she was talking to. Finn and Poe. He looked back to Rey and she was focused once more on the conversation she was having with the two men, but she closed her eyes and suddenly, Ben could hear their conversation:</p><p>"Do you really think it's a good idea for him to just have free roam of the base? There are a lot of people who could hurt him here and wouldn't bat an eye to even kill him. He might be better off staying in that room for now." Poe made a good point.</p><p>Rey had a response ready, however, "Then go with him and make sure no one does something they'll regret. His body needs to heal, and being out and about will give more people a chance to witness his redemption firsthand. He needs this, Poe."</p><p>She looked so earnest and was obviously making it hard for the Pilot to argue back, "He needs it and so do the people here. If they can just interact with him and see that he's not that Dark Betrayer anymore, that will go a long way to changing the hearts of the ones who will eventually try to demand his head."</p><p>Ben pulled back some so that he could only see Rey, instead of being able to hear her as well. She acknowledged the change with a nod, but continued the conversation she was having. He held onto their connection for a few more minutes, but when it was clear she'd be talking to them for a while he pulled back enough that while he could still feel her presence, he could no longer see her. It made him sad, to have her feel far away, but knew that the conversation she was having was an important one for her, and for him too. There was a knock on the door, but he wasn't sure if he should answer or remain silent.</p><p>"You can come in," he finally called.</p><p>The door opened slowly and the medic, Metz, from the previous day came in with a few items he assumed were for his leg.</p><p>"Ah! I'm glad you're up! I knocked about a half hour ago and you didn't answer so I figured you were still asleep. I brought some things to help your leg heal more quickly." She gave a small smile and he returned it. She pauses only to ask permission to move his leg and get him to stand and things like that. Suddenly, she moves his leg in a strange way and he cries out in pain. "Ahh!"</p><p>Metz gasped, "Oh, Ben! I'm so sorry! Are you okay?" After a moment, Ben catches his breath and nods.</p><p>"I'm fine. I'm sure the more pain I'm in the better the people here will feel." Metz looks saddened by his statement, and gently lowers his leg onto the bunk so he can rest it.</p><p>"Ben," she pauses a moment gathering her thoughts, "You are not going to easily find forgiveness." He lowered his head because he knew that once he threw away his lightsaber on Endor that he would no longer be able to roam the Galaxy freely. He would be a prisoner until the Galaxy decided what to do with him. But he willingly went to Exegol. He knew exactly what he would be getting into once he agreed to let Rey take him out of that Sith Pit. He knew that he would have to face all the choices he'd made over the last decade and he knew that it was extremely likely that the Galaxy would be unforgiving and he would be made to pay for his crimes with his death. But Metz wasn't finished, "Ben, look at me please." He hesitated only a moment before doing what she'd asked. She looked determined, but not stern, "Hun, I wasn't finished, now was I?" He had the good sense to look ashamed, "You won't find forgiveness easily, but that doesn't mean that it's impossible. When you decided to leave your Uncle's Academy and join the First Order as Snoke's Apprentice, you made a choice that some would say could never be reversed. Now, I would have said the same not two days ago, but here I am, giving a pep-talk to a former Dark Lord." He was caught off guard by her joke and almost didn't understand it for the quiet solidarity it was. She still wasn't finished, however. "There will never be complete forgiveness, I don't think, but I believe that it will be possible for you to gain back that forgiveness from the Resistance here on the Base. They're the ones you hurt most, but they will all remember that your mother never gave up on you, even when she thought she had." He wasn't sure what that meant, but he had always assumed that his mother would never have spoken of him again after what he'd done.</p><p>"You mean to say," he started and Metz continued,</p><p>"Yes, hun, she was the last one of us to ever hold onto that very slim hope that you would be able to see Snoke for the fraud he was and come home to her. I don't know much about this Force that your family had such strong connections to, but I know that your Mother was the strongest leader this Galaxy has ever seen and she used the Force to read people's intentions so that she could help keep the Republic from falling to another Dictator like the Emperor. Turns out, she missed a few things, but she was only human after all."</p><p>Ben was suddenly struck mute. He wasn't sure he really needed to speak, but he knew that if he tried, he wouldn't be able to utter a single syllable. His Mother had wanted him. She held onto a foolish notion that no one was unsaveable. But turns out, she was right. He'd grown up hearing all about how his Uncle had saved Darth Vader at the very end, and knew that it was important. He'd also felt his first sting of betrayal when he, along with the rest of the Galaxy learned that his Mother and Uncle were Darth Vader's children. It shouldn't have mattered, but it definitely did. They had told him all kinds of stories about the First Rebellion and how they fought together, his Mother, Father and Uncle, to bring the Galaxy out from under the control of the evil Sith Lord Palpatine and his apprentice, Darth Vader. But he'd also learned about his Grandfather Anakin, who'd been a Jedi Knight in the Old Republic and saved countless worlds during the Ancient Clone Wars. What had remained of the old Jedi Archives detailed as much. He'd also been extremely gifted with a Lightsaber. He found an old holocron in his Mother's things as a child and watched it countless times, in awe of the man showing different techniques and stances; he loved practicing with sticks he found and pretending he was a student training under the great Jedi, Anakin Skywalker. That first betrayal, learning that Anakin had become Vader, was only the first in a series of small betrayals that led Ben willingly into the clutches of Snoke and the Dark Side of the Force.</p><p>Ben held back a sigh and watched as Metz continued to manipulate his broken leg, ever so gently as to not cause any more pain, and tried not to wonder how differently things could have been had his family simply been honest with them; if he'd been honest with them, would he ever have fallen to the Dark Side?</p><p>... Finn …</p><p>He'd heard enough, "Guys!" He raised his voice so he could get their attention off of one another, "You've been arguing the same points for over an hour. We can't go on like this. We have to decide." Ever since Poe had made him co-General, he found himself dragged into far more situations similar to the one he found himself in now: playing peacekeeper when all he really wanted to do was throw in his two cents and get mad as well. Poe and Rey both stopped talking and turned to look at him, "Now that you've both gained the ability to close your mouths, I'll say my piece and we'll take a vote, agreed?" Poe looked like he really didn't want to remain silent, but Finn was pleasantly surprised when all Poe did was nod his assent. He noticed that Rey followed Poe's lead and he found himself with their undivided attention. He tried not to think too hard about the last time that had happened. He didn't want to relive those moments anymore than he already did in his nightmares and dreams. He cleared his throat and began, "I'll say this first: I cannot forgive him right now. Two days ago, he was trying to kill you, Rey, and I can't just take your word that he's changed."</p><p>Rey sighed but said she understood. "Now, as far as treating our prisoners better than the First Order, I agree with Rey that he should be given the opportunity to regain strength in his leg. From an entirely medical point of view, it's the best way to get his leg healing since he's refused to let Rey use her Force healing on him." Poe really didn't look happy about that, but gave a small nod anyway.</p><p>"The last thing I'll say is this: Poe, you told me that you had seen something in his eyes that made you want to believe him. So why not keep your eyes on him, and act as a 'former evil psychopath killer deterrent' so that you can have a chance to see if he's really come away from the Darkness for good, or if he's just got Rey under some Force manipulation through the bond thing that Snoke created in them."</p><p>He looked at both of them and let his words sink in, "Are you guys ready to vote?"</p><p>Rey nodded, and Poe did the same, they each closed their eyes, and Finn remained the only one with eyes open. This was how they'd been voting ever since the three had all become friends. Whomever had been arguing were made to hear out the third and then close their eyes so as not to be pressured by the vote of the others. The third would always keep eyes open to make sure the arguing pair kept theirs closed, and to be given a glimpse of the heart of the other two. "All in favor of letting the prisoner walk to aid in his healing and convincing the rest of the base that he's not going to kill them?"</p><p>A moment passed before all three of them raised their hands. Rey was, of course, first, followed by Finn and then Poe. "Eyes up, its unanimous."</p><p>Rey was beaming, and Poe seemed reluctant to acknowledge that they, for once, had all agreed on something, "I will only be ok with this as long as one of the three of us are with him at all times. He won't be cuffed or anything, but the Resistance sees us as the leaders so we have to be the ones walking with him. If Chewy wants to take a turn, fine, but otherwise it's one of us, agreed?" Finn really wanted to say no, but he felt that his hands were tied in this situation. He was really the only one of the three who had known him when he'd been the murderous psychopath he was now claiming not to be. Kylo Ren had been a monster, and while Finn had never spoken to him, he knew to be afraid of him. Ren's temper was well known in the First Order, and any one of the StormTroopers who'd been on missions with the Dark Lord would tell you to never speak to him or do anything that would make him angry. He'd kill you before an apology could be formed on your tongue.</p><p>He stood and let them know he wanted to be alone, but knew that one or the other of them would eventually follow, and in this case it might even be both of them. He knew they meant well, but he really did want to be alone. He needed to process all of the information he'd been given in the last 24-48 hours. It was a lot to take in, much less believe. And he felt that Rey keeping silent about just how connected she'd been to him was a form of betrayal and he wasn't really sure how to deal with that. Finn was new to all of the Force stuff, but from what he'd seen and read (borrowing Rey's books from time to time seemed to be the best way to get information about the Force when he wasn't ready for her to know about his Force-sensitivity) the connection between Rey and him  wasn't really all that far fetched.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I do not own these characters, but at this point the plot is my own.</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I do not own these characters or the plot of The Rise of Skywalker.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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